Counselling

Counselling is a type of talking therapy that allows a person or in certain occasions a couple to talk about their feelings and emotions in a confidential and safe environment.

Counselling aims to help you deal with and overcome issues that are causing you pain or making you feel uncomfortable. Often when a relationship has broken down you are flooded with a range of emotions such as grief, anger, depression even anxiety which are all normal, and talking to a counsellor can help you to find your own insight and a clearer understanding of what you are feeling at that time.

For counselling to be effective you need to build a trusting and safe relationship with your counsellor which can take a little time but be assured that the counsellor is there for your needs and will do their best to help, in most cases it does take a number of sessions before you can start to see and feel a difference so a regular commitment is required in order to make the best use of therapy.

During your sessions you will be encouraged to express your feelings and emotions freely, your counsellor may be able to help you recognise the effects of other people and their actions and help you to explore ways of coping with them. It can be a great relief to talk to and share your worries and fears with someone who acknowledges your feelings and is able to help you to reach a positive outcome/solution.

As well as Relate there are many independent counsellors who offer relationship counselling, couples counselling and even offer help and advice to young people whose parents are separating. Whilst your GP can refer you for counselling this can often be a lengthy process which is often due to the high demand and availability through the NHS, however you are able to make contact with an established and independent counsellor yourself, you may even find in your initial conversation that your counsellor is even willing to work out a payment plan for yourself and if this is of concern it should definitely be discussed at this stage.

Whilst counselling is there to offer advice on how to help you emotionally they are not qualified to offer you medical, legal or financial advice.

Separation

Sometimes couples separate but don't divorce, perhaps for religious reasons. They may still wish to reach a settlement about financial and children's issues but can't access the court without divorce proceedings. In those circumstances it is possible for the couple to enter into a Separation Deed setting out the terms which have been agreed. If there are later divorce proceedings, the terms of the deed can be transferred to a legally binding court order.

It is also possible for couples who don't want to divorce but do want to obtain a legally binding court order reflecting their financial settlement, to Judicially Separate. This is a procedure akin to divorce, which results in a decree of Judicial Separation from the Court but doesn't actually end the marriage.